Empty Heart
by folkloric
Summary: -complete, formerly a drabble- Who would have know that a kiss and three words could cause so much pain. Zidane now knows that all too well but what does Garnet feel?
1. I

Title: Empty Heart  
Rating: PG/  
Pairings: Zidane/Garnet

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy IX belongs to that of Square-Enix, I do not claim that I own or distribute these characters for profit or gain. oo; just borrowing them  
Summary: Who would have know that a kiss and three words could cause so much pain. Zidane now knows that all too well but what does Garnet feel?  
Author's notes: This pretty much started out as a random thing, I was playing FFIX and thinking about another fic of mine when this dawned on me and I had to immediately write it out. This part is the drabble that took like 10 minutes to do, the other parts took longer ; This was beta'd by ezri-candy.

He stood next to her as she looked out distantly toward her home and city, Alexandria. Rebuilt and greater now then in its former glory, it had become a mecca of life and love. The inhabitants all loved their new queen and her guardians, and with Kuja gone it seemed everything would be fine. Nothing bad or drastic would ever happen again and that everyone would be truly happy in home and heart.

That didn't exist for him though.

As Garnet stared out at the city, the many lights flickering across her face, giving her an ethereal glow, she didn't notice her most trusted friend and guardian watching her. Sure, she trusted everyone just the same, but he stood out more and had nearly gotten himself killed for her numerous times. And it seemed to be nothing more than that.

Steiner and the rest could see the relationship, but she couldn't and that _hurt_. It was the first time he had experienced something this strong before and all his attempts had failed in her actually acknowledging him as more than a friend. She had plenty of suitors and she seemed to be plenty happy with them.  
His heart felt empty...  
He stood partially in the shadows of the high archway, leaning against it heavily. A slight breeze picked up, making Garnet's hair blow back, and making his own brush against the sides of his face. He could see how content and happy she was and yet he wasn't.

He felt utterly alone.  
Even with everyone there and the new friends he could make, nothing seemed to fill the emptiness and the ache in his heart. Garnet turned and looked at him, finally seeing the almost saddened look on his face.  
"Zidane, what's wrong?" She turned and looked at him, her pale orange and white dress partially fluttering in the breeze. The moon reflected nicely against her once again, adding to her ethereal beauty.

As if running on autopilot, he moved in close. Her breath hitched at how close he was standing, and she had to look up at him to look into his wistful sapphire eyes.  
"W-what?"

"I love you, Garnet." And without warning, he pulled her against him and kissed her. Her eyes widened considerably before slowly closing them and returning his embrace, still in the kiss. She felt his tail wrap around her waist and then curl as he withdrew and took a step back, apparently shocked at his actions. He hid his eyes, as he took and step back.  
"S-sorry…I shouldn't have done that." And with that he turned and ran away, trying to get as far away from her as he could. The scent of orange and vanilla he had inhaled still playing in his sense as he quickly turned the corner into the courtyard and went directly for the boat dock area. He needed to clear his head in the city.  
Her arm was still stretched out and eyes wide as Garnet seemed to be staring endlessly at the empty space where he had once been before her arm dropped to her side heavily. A tear fell before she turned and fled to her chambers, ignoring both Steiner and Beatrix worried calls. _  
'Zidane…'_

Now her heart felt empty.


	2. II

Walking around the crowded streets of Alexandria, Zidane couldn't help wishing that he hadn't done what he had did to Garnet. Sure, he liked her and everything but still…he had practically stolen that kiss from her and at the same time declared his love.

Love.  
Thinking about it now, he cursed himself three times over for even blurting it out. '_What in the hell was I thinking!?_' He thought as he walked into the closest tavern that he saw. Zidane went up to the counter and immediately ordered shots of vodka. Tonight was going to be a long night and for once, maybe alcohol could maybe fix it. Sure, he had just turned the legal drinking age in this city, but back at Lindbulm, he had acquired the taste at a younger age. Tonight was definitely going to be a long night.  
'_Here's to be being an idiot.'  
_And with that, he drowned the heady substance in one gulp and happily enjoyed the warm almost burning sensation that quickly went down his throat.

* * *

She hadn't done something like this in a long time, definitely not since the night she had first 'ran away' from her country and home. She was happy to find that her old clothes still could fit her though. The orangeish-yellow jump suit and white shirt had to be dug out of the back of her wardrobe and the boots were borrowed from Beatrix, but it would do fine. Removing her make up and the silver tiara was the final thing she did before leaving the castle as fast as she could.  
The guards paid her no heed, as she went to the dock and ordered that they immediately take her to the city. Though the trip was short, the terrified guard, though tired had gotten her to the other side quite quickly, making the trip short, but it felt like an eternity to the raven haired girl.

What had been Zidane thinking? Hadn't she been thinking kissing him back!? She wasn't a normal woman now, no, she was queen and queens were not suppose to be going around kissing her subjects.  
Was that all he was to her? Just a subject to follow her every beck and call?  
_'No he's something more than that.' _She scolded herself.

Of course he was something more than just a subject. She had been with him when the world was about to end. With him and the others, she was able to help in saving the world. With a look of determination, the yound ruler stepped out of the boat and walked into the spaceous area of the open air market and frowned.  
Where was she going to find Zidane?

* * *

He downed another shot. The alcohol level in his blood was high and he knew he probably just reached his limit. Maybe it was the sound of his slurred voice as he called out for more that made him think that, but he continued, this time something even stronger. The bartender just laugh and went get his beverage. It was probably darker out now, though not close to midnight, probably in between evening and that time. His tail waved to and fro idly as he waited for the drink to come, taking note that more people were coming in.  
His habit of studying people, averaging out how much they carried and what they probably had never seemed to die in the young thief. He smirked and chuckled quietly to himself as he had guessed correctly about the person next to him. At least he was right most of the time when it came to things like that...unlike his luck at other matters.

Receiving a glass of liquor, he looked up at the bartender wondering why he didn't get denied the shot.  
"Seems like you need it kid."  
He rolled his eyes and began to drink the liquid, liking the feel of the ice cubs in the cup as they touched his lips. He inhaled the drink and set the shot glass down, resting his upper body on the grimy bar top, his head nestled on his arms. He drifted off, deep in thought for a while before getting a rude awakening. A feminine hand softly place its self on his knee, manicured fingernails slightly pressing into his flesh.

He glanced over to her, taking in her flaming red hair and green eyes of average looking girl. The girl leaned forward, and whispered into his ear.

"Haven't seen a pretty boy like you here before. You don't seem to come here often." She quietly purred, her breath smelled of oranges, immediately waking him up from his daze. He sat up quickly, much to her surprise and practically shoved her out of her stool, his gaze hardened though he was slightly tipsy.  
Glaring at her, he stretch, then ordered another drink. Ignoring the girl throwing insults at him and barging out of the tavern, the bartender just laughed and handed him another drink.

"Time?" His voice slurred almost painfully to his ears and the bartender just shook his head and laughed to himself again.

"10:00." The barkeep replied.

He had been in the tavern for two hours now, time didn't seem to have flown by but it hadn't been crawling either. He coughed as his senses finally picked up the fine haze of smoke that had descended due to the other customers.

Oh well, bottoms up.

Garnet had been searching for hours and she seen no sign of Zidane. She asked the locals and some of his friends and yet no one seemed to no where he was. Some even commented that he 'ought to be with her,' which made her blush slightly.  
What happened back at the palace had replayed in her mind over and over. The feeling of that single kiss being right hadn't faded at all. She almost felt like she was freezing...she missed the warmth she felt when he was near.

Garnet rethought were she stood on the grounds of Zidane just being another peon in her great kingdom of people and warriors alike. She move over to a small bench and sat, reprocessing what had happened earlier. As she thought of the events leading up to the kiss, she felt the unfamiliar sensation of butterflies, but when it got to the part of him leaving, she felt it disappear and leave a deadened weight in her heart.  
"Zidane…I…" She muttered softly to herself before noticing people were looking at her. The raven haired girl stood, deciding to walk around a bit, hoping to clear her mind and find Zidane at the same time.

After a few more minutes of drifting through the crowds, she heard a loud commotion outside of a tavern. It appeared some woman was furious about something and was yelling at what appeared to be her companion.

"Kill that ungrateful monkey thing ok!? No one denies me!! He bloody well threatened me and you just sit there on your ass and didn't even care!?" The red head screeched.

By then, the woman's face had turned scarlet and she yelled out in frustration. Garnet ignored the rest of the cursing and the woman making a fool of herself in general as she focused on the three things that she had provided.  
_'Ungrateful monkey thing…? Zidane!'_

Summing up the fact that Zidane had to be the only 'ungrateful monkey thing', Garnet looked for a way to get into the tavern without having to confront the woman. Her tantrum was blocking the entrance of the door...most likely enraging the woman further if she tried to enter the bar. She would just have to wait a little longer to get to her friend. She shook her head and smiled to herself.  
_'No...My new suitor...that is, if he still feels something for me…'_


	3. III

It took an hour but it was worth it. The irate woman and her companion had disappeared for more than five minutes and Garnet moved quickly to the tavern door. Pushing it open, she immediately coughed as the thick smell of smoke and vomit assaulted her nose. She could clearly hear the catcalls by the men, but not realizing that they were directed at her, she ignored it and tried looking for the form of Zidane.

It took her minute, but she did find him through the haze and dark lighting of the tavern. He was still at the counter, and still slouched and on the counter with many shots and glasses next to him.

A pang of uncertainty hit her for a moment. Was he an alcoholic and she didn't know? What if he got violent if she went next to him? Shaking her head of that highly unlikely thought and with her determination growing, she walked over to him and sat down next to him.

"Don't try nothin' funny with him ma'am. The last one was howling out there for trying, ya know." The barkeep snickered and went back to cleaning his glass, ignoring the almost scandalized look she had.

She turned and looked at Zidane, he looked asleep. She tapped his shoulder lightly and got no response. She shook his shoulders lightly before getting a mixed response from him. He opened his eyes with a look of glazed over annoyance. He breathed out slowly and the stench of liquor was thick on his breath, causing her to wrinkle her noise at the stench.

"Zidane…its time to go."

He grinned lazily at her. The liquor had taken its full affect nowand all he wanted to do was sleep. The numbness was growing as he grabbed a half finished glass and downed it.

"Dagger?" His voice was definitely slurred, but at least he somewhat remembered her alias. "What are you doing here?"

It took her a moment to understand his slurred speech but once she did, she desperately told him that they had to leave, hoping that he was able to process her words. Suddenly the tavern swung open and slammed, letting in the night air into the stuffy room and a figure stalked in. The woman was back but with no one else...and she still was angry...

And it only increase when she noticed Garnet.

The woman stalked over to the dark haired girl. "He's mine, get your own!" The red head hissed out. Dagger raised a brow and went back to trying to get Zidane to get up.

"Don't ignore me, you stupid bitch!" The older woman suddenly grabbed Garnet by her hair and yanked her up. Garnet cried out in calm and pain as the woman's nails partially dug into her scalp.

At the sound of her cry, Zidane instantly became alert, instincts kicking in, as he picked up a partially filled glass and practically flung it at the woman. The thick glass shattered against the woman's right temple causing her to scream in pain, a bit of the liquor splashed on Garnet upon impact.

Zidane was finally standing though leaning heavily on the counter. The woman let go of Garnet and held her hand over the bleeding wound and wouldn't stop screaming, making Zidane's head hurt.

"…go." He muttered, as he threw the man a few coins. The blonde grabbed Garnet's hand and left the tavern. Garnet looked back at the woman kneeling on the floor, blood dripping from between her fingers, a small pool of blood growing on the floor. A glare of contempt was sent at the young raven haired girl as Zidane swaggered to and fro, pulling her from the bar. Garnet caught up with him and wrapped her arm around him to hold up his taller frame.

"Zidane, how much did you drink?" She asked him quietly but he didn't reply. Zidane staggered away, trying to go in the direction that his gazed was locked, but not getting very far. She called out to him again but he ignored her.

A few people looked at the pair while most didn't pay them much attention. It was near midnight and most that were still out were headed home to sleep. It took her ten more minutes to guide him to the dock and during that time, Garnet quietly asked him again how much he drank or what happened with the woman but he didn't reply.

A sigh escaped her lips as she helped him into the gondola and motioned for the man to take them across. Zidane, slouched on the side partially, his hand partially tailing in the water.

"Shouldn't have done that…" He slurred, the rest of the sentence coming out as jibberish.

Garnet looked at him almost sadly. She didn't want him to regret his feelings nor the kiss, why was he doing it now? "But Zidane…"

"Don't deserve…you."

Her eyes widened as she forgot what she was about to say. He looked up from the moonlit water and looked at her, holding her gaze before looking back to the water. His eyes were so different...the usually happy, mischevious and energetic eyes and now showed different emotions: uncertainty, pain and…loneliness.

Why was he lonely? He had tons of friends and allies why would be like this? She reached out for him but as the gondola bumped into the dock violently causing her to fall into him.

She blushed heavily when she realized that her face was mere inches from his. She could smell the potent alcohol and warmth of his breath as she locked her clear eyeswith his unfocused one, he understood what was happening and was about to say something to her, until he suddenly shoved her away and threw up over the side of the gondola.

"Gross…" the guard commented, looking away from the two warriors. Garnet didn't say anything else as Zidane finished and leaned heavily on the boats side. He hoisted himself up and getting barely onto the dock.

Garnet sighed and went to help the golden haired boy up and get him up to his apartment to have someone take care of him. It was hard on her petite body, but she was able him to his knees before wrapping her arm around him. He was heavy as he leand on her, but she didn't care. She draped his arm over her shoulder for balance as they slowly walked up the steps.

Zidane barely made it into his room, before collapsed to his knees at the waste basket in front of him before he hurled. Garnet looked away as she held his hair back until he finished. He pulled himself up, and staggered over onto the bed before collapsing onto it. Garnet handed the soiled basket to a servant and asked for some water and some herbs for him before helping him change out of his shirt and retrieving his toothbrush and a glass of water as he pulled his pants off and crawled beneath the blankets.

The young Queen mixed the herbs in a glass of water as he finished brushing his teeth and spitting the toothpaste into the small trash can near his bed. She handed him the herbal drink and watched as he downed the mixture.

"Zidane…"

He laid back on his pillows, turning to face her as he made himself comfortable. A lazy grin traced his lips. Even through the haze caused by the liquor he could still smell the soft scent of orange and vanilla that he forever associated with her.

Zidane shook his head and closed his eyes. "Gomen…about earlier, I shouldn't have done that."

"You're sorry about kissing me?"

"Yeah…"

It hurt to hear him say that, for him to be sorry about something that hadn't felt wrong but right. For him practically denouncing that he didn't deserve her and that he had been out of place for doing it. Even now, Garnet could feel the warmth that had encased her when she was held in his arms as their lips met sending a pleasant wave of fire through her body at that single moment.

Before she had thought the others were maybe playing some kind of joke, saying about her and Zidane should be together. She had tried to brush it aside, like the other awkward moments they shared...but she couldn't now.

Back then, she had just thought that he was a pervert, and in the beginning he might have been, but near the end of their journey, he seemed to have grown up. Maybe it because of the situation or not or the danger they all faced, she didnt know. Even after that, she was too busy to really pay attention to his antics, she had a country and peace treaties to care about. Zidane had seemed almost insignificant and with all the suitors….

'I've been ignoring him…no…neglecting him, not seeing who he really is. What kind of queen, no, person am I not to see that one of my closest friends was in such pain? All I had to do was look in his eyes...but I didn't even notice...'

She looked at him sadly, as she went over to him and sat next to him, brushing a few strands of hair from his eyes. "I'm not sorry nor mad about it. I…liked it, Zidane."

"…"

"Zidane..?"

His heart still felt empty as he looked at the girl who was a goddess in his eyes. He felt an old pang of uncertainty again and disbelief at what she had just said.

'Maybe I shouldn't drink like that again…this has to be some weird dream.'

None the less, he still felt like he was missing an important piece to himself and that he most likely would posess it...because the moment that he had kissed her, he knew that she was the only one that could ever make him feel complete. She was the missing piece to his soul and heart.

Zidane pushed himself up, his stomach protesting it before settling down again, thanks to the herbal mixture. He leaned against the headboard and looked at her, wondering what would have happened if he hadn't gone with the Tantalus that day all those years ago.

He could almost guarantee that if he hadn't been there, and met his friends, there would probably be no Gaia, no Alexandria...no Garnet. Unconsciously the blonde shivered at the thought of everyone and everything not even existing anymore. A small cold hand on his forehead caused him to shiver once more as his eyes finally focused on Garnet sitting on the bed next to him. The smell of orange and vanilla was intoxicating, as he inhaled it deeply, causing Garnet to stir.

"Zidane…stop apologizing. I don't want to hear it." She leaned forward and softly kissed him. The slight taste of alcohol that remained was foregin to her, but it was easily blocked, her body melting as his arms wrapped around her. Once again, it felt right...

She closed her eyes, as a wave of happiness washed over her when he deepend the kiss. Garnet had found the missing piece of her heart...the part that no other suitor could provide her with...the part that Zidane had possessed all along.

Now her heart felt complete...

* * *

"Mama! Sapphire is being mean to meeee!"

"Well, Misha needs to grow up!"

Both children stopped complaining, huffed and glared at one another. Sapphire, was the heir to Alexandria and being twelve, most would think the boy would grow up a little but no, he liked teasing his younger sister to death. His tail held her favorite doll captive as he held her arm length away. His blue eyes sparkled in mischief as he hit her with the doll upside her head, and quickly bolted.

Misha was the middle child of the royal family though she acted the youngest at the moment. Her brown eyes shone with unshed tears as she tried to look strong, then immediately ran after her raven haired brother. Her blonde hair, haphazardly in a bun, fell out but she ignored it.

Zidane merely laughed at the predicament and went to help his agitated wife, who was currently pregnant again. Walking over to her, he softly kissed her and touched her swollen stomach.

"Only a few more days I'm guessing." He grinned, causing her to laugh gently before hitting him with the fan she had. She wasn't in a good mood at the moment, she had a headache, she knew her feet were swollen again though she couldn't see them, and she had to deal with her two children to boot.

Zidane rubbed his head a laughed. Being king had a lot of perks and was fun but at the same time, there were a lot of downfalls. He took his mind away from the downfall as he thought of Eiko and Amarant. They were on their way to the city to visit along with Freya. The whole group would be here to welcome the newest heir to the throne.

"Zidane, please deal with them today. I don't feel like dealing with anymore of their pranks." Garnet rather calmly replied, though her agitation was clear.

"Fine, fine-"

CRASH

Both looked to see Misha looking horrified while staring a broken vase and then to her older brother. The two children looked at each other and then to their parents.

"Uh oh…"

"Misha! Sapphire!"

"BYE!"

Both parents groaned as the kids immediately sped away, both would get in trouble for that one. Zidane couldn't help the grin at appeared on his lips before chasing after them. His grinned deepened and he chuckled as he called out to the kids.

His heart was no longer empty and would never be again.


End file.
